in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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