Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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