My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
