I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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