im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
