guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
