so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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