I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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