i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
