I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
This is the high leading the old right now
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
