There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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