i would punch a child for taco bell
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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