My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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