I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
