why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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