It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
