Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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