There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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