There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
