Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
