know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Dicks are not precious.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
