So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
