I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
