I want to make a zoo with you.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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