you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You pole danced in your parka.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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