i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
