Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
