My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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