I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
