It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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