I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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