My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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