She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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