I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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