The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
