There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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