Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.