youre lurking in front of me
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
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I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
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Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.