i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.