You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
