just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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