you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
