just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
