you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
