so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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