you guys were way drunker than both of me
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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