No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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