That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
