It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
