So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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