You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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