omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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