I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
