I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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