at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I stole a fireplace last night.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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