fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
