it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
