Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
