I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
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She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
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whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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