Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
