He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize