I just pynch a tree in the face
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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