Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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