i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
