her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
