saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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