I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
That's intense
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
